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Showing posts from March 16, 2008

Theory of evolution and dole-bludging

I am now 37. Which means that people often ask me when I'm going to have children. My 'cut-off' date was 37, and that boat has now sailed for me. But to be honest it was never in port - I've never felt the need to reproduce. That maternal feeling has never been there for me.

Thirty years ago this was the exception. People had families, that was what they did. So what changed? Many of my friends are in relationships, and yet childless with no plans to expand their family of two past an additional dog or cat. Others, who don't have partners, aren't maternal either. Why? Has social conditioning changed so much that in the age of singledom we no longer feel the parental itch? It is purely economical, or has the need to produce offspring actually disappeared for many of us for another reason?

Here is my theory. It's going to piss a lot of people off but I really don't care so feel free to post comments if you feel the need to vent. Or agree. Whateve…

Close encounters of the wuss kind

Wuss - it's a wonderful term. It describes someone who in Americanese might be described a pussy. A coward. It describes me when it comes to pain - it's something I just don't do. My pain threshold is zero. Come near me with a needle and you have just turned into Leatherface and your needle is the mental equivalent of a chainsaw.

So What do you do when you find your hand inside a great dane's mouth, whilst he's having a bloody good try at swallowing your fingers in a first rate attempt as a canine meat grinder? Well I screamed and eventually tore my hand out from between his teeth, inflicting some nasty damage to my hand and digits. This is the start of a long story - well actually it's part of the way through a story. But this is Close Encounters of the Wuss Kind... so let's skip to the bleeding, which was plentiful, and the ambulance. I've never been in an ambulance - well not that I can remember. My encounter with... let's call him Snoop…