To paths less trodden...
When I started this blog a few years ago in 2010, I was wrapping up my life in Australia, putting a painful few years where they belonged - behind me - and preparing for some crazy travel adventures and a new life in London. Now I'm older, slightly wiser. There's been more laughter than tears, incredible friendships revived and forged, successes, loss and grief, and a shedload of travel. I should have kept this blog up, but like many good intentions it fell by the wayside as life took over. Well, no time like the present! I hope you enjoy, be inspired, roll your eyes a little. And like I said when I kicked this blog off: "You know it's not going to be boring."
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Sisters aren't doing it for themselves
There are single women everywhere. This is official, in fact there are websites dedicated to this 21st century phenomenon - it's even got a name apparently - sologamy. More than 75% of my friends are SPW's (single professional women) in their thirties who are successful, beautiful, intelligent, well-travelled and looking for Mr Right. And there are millions more out there in the same boat, world-wide.
I'm no psychologist, I have never written a book on the subject of being single, that men are a different species from another planet, although I have watched all of the episodes of Sex and the City. But I have never found it hard to meet men, and if someone, if it's only one person, can pick up a nugget of advice here that leads them to meet Mr Right then hopefully I have done something to help to curb this worrying phenomenon just by sitting down and typing it.
I do know one thing girls, sitting down on your arse and waiting for Mr Right to come to you isn't going to happen. And you are going to have to kiss a hell of a lot of frogs before you find that prince. And reality check, there aren't any princes out there. Relationships, marriage, it's all bloody hard work and there are benefits to being single. But if you really want to change your surname that badly, then become a huntress.
You're thirty mmph-mmph, and single. You're in a bar and you spot a cutie across the other side of the room, also in his thirties. He's not hideous or deformed, not sporting a wedding ring, and he's actually managed to dress himself properly and comb his hair. He catches your eye. You maintain eye contact, smile, sip your chardonnay and stay sitting with your friends waiting for him to come over, maintaining an air of sophistication and allure. And you still end up going home to the cat and a cup of cocoa. Why? Because that way of picking up men ended when you left your twenties and graduated into thirtydom.
Here's the rub, chicas: Men in their thirties do not make the first move anymore (unless it's on easier prey, such as women in their twenties), and until this lesson is learned by single women in their thirties then the phenomenon of sologamy will continue. Men in their thirties cope with the single life better than women do. They still get to sleep with younger women, get their Mum to do their laundry, drink with their mates, play sport, and they don't have a biological clock telling them that their baby-making years are coming to an end. They have time on their side. It's up to women these days to make that essential first move. You fancy him? Talk to him. If he's a moron it will hopefully surface in the first five minutes of conversation. It may not. Dating during these troubled times is entering quagmire of losers and players. But unless you want the conception of your children to be consummation with a turkey baster it's time to sift through the sh*t until you find the golden nugget. The more men you talk to, the more men you date. The more men you date, by law of averages at some point one of them will be marriage or long term material. Next time you are out with the girls, on a bus or train, standing at a traffic-light or waiting in line for coffee and you see that cute guy - give him a smile and open your mouth and let words come out.
It's better to try and maybe meet the man of your dreams, than never try at all. And it will be on your terms, not his - you will control the field and the play. So come on sisters, do it for yourselves!!! What you waiting for...???